


Let Me Be Your Goodnight

by c00kie



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Non-Linear Narrative, Romance, Sort of song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 01:52:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7020865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/c00kie/pseuds/c00kie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"This doesn't have to mean anything." </p><p>Inspired by One Directions' Made in the A.M.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Me Be Your Goodnight

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bookworm03](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookworm03/gifts).



> Happy Birthday, Bookworm03! Thank you so much for your friendship, your talent and inspiration and most importantly, for spiraling about 1D with me. <3 <3 <3

_I come alive when I hear your voice_   
_It's a beautiful sound_   
_It's a beautiful noise_

Sometimes Ben thinks he's always been in love with Leslie, but never really knew until the moment he hears her voice on the other end of the phone. And then suddenly he's alive, really truly alive, as if the first twenty three years of his life didn't count.

"How are you?" Come home.

"I'm good," she answers, hesitant. "Busy. You?"

"Uh, you know…" He's the same, only less. Because she wasn't there to complete him. "Okay, I guess. I quit my job."

"Oh. What- where are you working now?"

"Video store. It's just temporary though until the semester starts."

She gasps. "Oh. You're going back to school?"

"Yeah. I kind of figured I would take a page out of your book and apply to grad school. I'm just going to Indiana, it's not-"

"It is a big deal, Ben. It's a very big deal. I'm--"She pauses and Ben knows she's smiling even if he can't actually see her--"proud of you."

"Thanks," he says as the warmth spreads from his stomach all the way up his chest.

"I should go," Leslie says, as if she knows Ben is about to say he misses her. "I have a paper due tomorrow and I want to go over it before I turn it in."

"Yeah. Okay. I'll talk to you later then, Lesliemin."

"Later, Ben."

There's a click, and then the dial tone. He doesn't miss the way she didn't call him Benjamin.

But at least it's something.

_All my life you stood by me when no one else was ever behind me_

She's the only one who comes to see him. Even his best friend Jack avoids him. Ben's not sure how she convinced his mom to let her in, but she's there, with cookies and the latest issue of Batman and a pep talk that he doesn't want to hear.

He does thank her for the cookies though and she smiles back, as if that's enough.

"Have you talked to Jack or Cindy?" she asks, sitting down on the couch in his basement. He grabs the remote from the coffee table and sits next to her.

"No, but Jessica called to dump me for Cindy, so that's awesome."

Leslie's nose scrunches, as if she's actually angry on his behalf. "What a-"

"I had it coming." He starts channel surfing, letting Leslie rant about how just because he bankrupted the city it was no reason to dump him so cruelly.

He doesn't tell her the truth. That he cheated.

Leslie will find out on her own soon enough.

He stops at Jeopardy and they both fall into silence, only speaking to shout out the answers at the screen. Mostly though, he just eats the cookies she made and waits for the the other shoe to drop. It's distracting, knowing that any minute, she's going to turn her anger on him.

And she'll be right to. Of all the people who have reason to tell Ben off, to say, "I told you so," it's Leslie. She was the first one who warned him he was over his head with Icetown. The only one really.

After final Jeopardy, Ben turns off the television and turns to her. "Okay, let me have it."

She tilts her head, curious. "Let you have what?"

"Yell at me. Tell me how much I suck and how I've ruined your life and the town's and that you'll never speak to me again."

"I'm not going to yell, Ben."

"Why not?" Is she going to stab him instead?

"Because I'm not mad at you. In fact, I'm actually proud of you."

He must have fallen and hit his head and this is all some sort of coma dream. That's the only explanation. "Huh?"

"I'm proud of you," she repeats, squeezing his hand. "You tried to do something good."

"Tried. Yeah." Tried and failed.

"Yes," she says, her smile as bright as the sun and twice as blinding. "Besides, you of all people should know I never make cookies for people I hate."

Ben finds himself smiling since the first time in days. "Right."

 ****_Girl, I hope you’re sure_  
What you're looking for  
‘Cause I’m not good at making promises

"It's just sex right?" she asks, pulling off her shirt. "That's what we agreed to?"

Ben nods, sitting up so he can kiss the freckles on her stomach.

"Good," she says, fingers raking through his hair. "Good."

It is good, Ben thinks as he makes his way down her body. This way, there are no expectations. He won't break any promises. No hearts will be broken.

There's a voice that sounds a lot like his own telling him this is a bad idea, but he ignores it in favor of unzipping her skirt and pulling her panties down her legs.

He pauses to breathe her in.

"Are you going to sit there all day or are you going to do something?" she asks, annoyance in her voice.

He doesn't tell her how much he likes the way she smells. The rich, deep sweetness that is completely hers. He definitely doesn't tell her he's been thinking about doing this again ever since the other night.

He just pulls them both onto the bed, arms wrapped tight around her waist so he can keep her above his mouth.

It's just sex. Mind numbing-skin burning- oh so delicious- sex.

_And everybody wants you  
Everybody wants you_

"I'm bored," Ben says to Leslie as a tall guy with red hair walks away. She grins at him, as if he didn't just whine about how bored he is at a party at the campus' most notorious party house.

"That girl's staring at you like you're her own persona ice cream sundae," Leslie says, gesturing at a girl near the keg. She's brunette, with a cute smile and green eyes that match her dress.

"Cool," Ben says, giving the girl a friendly nod before he turns back to Leslie.

"You're not going to ask her for her number?"

Ben shrugs and takes a drink of his beer. "Nah."

Leslie frowns for a second and then shakes it off, glancing around the room. "Okay then, what about her?"

He looks over at the redhead and for a second he wonders if her body is covered in freckles. He's always liked freckles.

He shakes his head. "I had Psych with her. She's a fundamentalist."

Leslie's face scrunches. "And she's at this party?"

Ben laughs. "Yeah. So try again, Knope."

"Okay, Wyatt," she says, glaring back at him. "Third time's the charm."

Ben watches as Leslie studies the room, taking in every girl. He can practically hear her mind working, debating every girl versus what she knows of him.

"You're a terrible wingman, Knope."

"I am not--" She pauses to pout and take a drink of whatever's in her cup. "You just don't need me. You can just walk into a room and get a girlfriend."

Ben makes a face at the word girlfriend. "I wouldn't call them that."

Leslie rolls her eyes. "Whatever. We both know you already know who you're going home with, so go get her."

"Actually, I think I'm cool with the company I have right now." The girl with the bob haircut he eyed when he first walked into the party is pretty, there's no doubt about that, but he has no desire to go find to her. Not when he's actually having a good time with Leslie.

Leslie smiles. "Aww, Benjamin. That's so sweet. But I just told Dave I would go on a walk with him."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry."

"No, no. You uh, go take that walk."

"Are you sure? I can-"

"Go," he says, patting her back.

Ben watches her walk away, finishes his beer and goes to talk to the redhead.

 ****_I told her that I loved her_  
_Was not sure if she heard_  
_The roof was pretty windy_  
_And she didn't say a word_  
_Party died downstairs_  
_Had nothing left to do_  
_Just me, her and the moon_

Ben finds Leslie on the roof, sitting on a lounge chair with a bottle of champagne in her hand. He sits in the chair next to her and wordlessly she hands him the bottle.

He takes a long sip before handing it back. "Everyone's missing you down there."

"Yeah, I know. I just wanted to watch the sunrise one last time."

He's been pretty buzzed all night, but the combination of the wind and her words sober him up completely. "Right," he looks up at the night sky, at the cloud covered stars and the full moon he swears is regarding him with pity.

"Uh, you know it's only two am, right?"

She laughs and takes another drink of her champagne. "Yeah."

It doesn't take a genius to know that Leslie wants to be alone. That she doesn't want to talk to him. But given that this is his last night with her, he doesn't move except to take the bottle from her.

They take turns drinking out of it until the contents are gone. Ben's body hums, warm from the alcohol and knowledge that as of tomorrow, she'll be completely out of his life.

"You still haven't told me where you're going."

"That's because I don't want you chasing after me," she says, laughing and yawning at the same time.

Ben laughs and pulls out his pack of cigarettes. "Can't help it," he says, lighting up. "I'm mad about you, Knope."

She doesn't reply. He glances over, seeing her fast asleep.

He leans back in his chair. He'll wake her up when the sun starts to rise.

_I'm missing half of me when we're apart_

The phone rings at two am. He answers it, voice scratchy. "Leslie?"

"Sorry dude, it's Andy."

Ben groans, planting his face in his pillow. "It's two in the morning."

"Yeah, sorry. I kind of need you to bail me and April out."

He rolls over and stares up at the ceiling. He's pretty sure he doesn't want to know why they were arrested, but has no doubt Andy will tell him anyway.

"Come on, dude. You're our only phone call."

"And you called me."

"Yeah! So please, come? We'll pay you back."

"Yeah, whatever," Ben says, picking up his jeans from the floor. "How much is it?"

"Five hundred."

"Yeah that's fine." It's not, but after what Andy did for him, he owes the other man a life debt.

"Each."

Of course. But it's not like he has anything else to spend it on. "Yeah okay. I'm on my way."

Ben hangs up and rubs his hand over his face. "Shit," he says to the darkness.

"Shit," he says as he puts on the rest of his clothes and grabs his wallet and car keys.

"Shit," he says as he drives through the empty streets of Pawnee to the police station.

Ben figures it's mostly his tiredness that keeps his fear of cops at bay as he walks into the police station and up to the front desk. There's something vaguely familiar about the officer. He glances at his name tag. Sanderson.

"Hey, I'm here for-"

"You must be here for Mr. Dwyer and Ms. Ludgate."

"Yeah. Are they-"

"You'll have to sign these forms," Officer Sanderson says, pushing a clipboard at him. "And it'll be a grand."

Ben hands him his credit card. "I hope you take American Express."

"We take all major credit cards as well as money orders and cashier's checks. We don't take personal checks."

"Right," Ben says, his fear coming back as he writes his name and birthday on the forms.

"Do I know you? I haven't arrested you have I?"

Ben looks up at him. "Uh, no?"

"Because you look very familiar to me."

It's right then that Ben realizes where he knows officer Sanderson from. And knowing that the man probably won't let it go, Ben sighs and puts down the pen. "You dated my best friend in college."

"Oh yeah. You're that guy who was always hanging around Leslie. Ben something."

"Ben Wyatt."

"Dave Sanderson," he says, putting his hand out for Ben to shake. He does and then goes back to writing his current place of employment.

"This feels like a job application."

"It's not," Dave assures him. "So, I haven't talked to Leslie in awhile, how is she doing?"

"Great," Ben answers. "She's uh, at grad school."

"Oh, yeah. She talked about that. Well, good for her."

"Yeah," Ben says, signing his name. "Good for her."

They let Andy and April out a few minutes later. Andy hugs him, smelling like beers and turkey chili. Ben pushes him away. "Let's get out of here."

He ignores the way April looks at him as they walk through the parking lot to his car.

"You look like shit."

"It's three in the morning," Ben replies, starting the engine. "Everyone looks like shit."

"No," April says, "this is different. You look like you haven't slept in a month."

He doesn't admit she's right. That he's been going to bed later, waking up earlier. That he keeps one hand on his phone just in case it rings.

"She still hasn't called you, has she?" Andy asks, getting right to the heart of the matter.

He ignores the question and turns the radio up.

_Point of no return now  
It's just too late to turn around_

Ben leans against the bar, watching as Leslie dances with Ann and Donna, laughing as they shout the lyrics to the Spice Girl's Wannabe to each other. She catches his eye and smiles. He lifts his glass to his lips and winks back.

She counters by beckoning him over with her finger. He grins and slams his glass down and walks over.

"Hello, ladies, do you mind if I take my lady for a spin?"

"Is that what you call it?" Ann asks, but Ben's too busy capturing Leslie's lips with his own to answer.

The music changes to something slower and even though he knows they're surrounded but as soon as he looks into Leslie's eyes, they may as well be completely alone.

"Hey," he says, in a voice low enough so only she can hear, "you wanna go home and play Mario Kart?"

Leslie grins against his lips. "You're on, Benjamin Wyatt."

_Lips so good I forget my name.  
I swear I could give you everything._

"You know, things would be so much easier if I was in love with you."

Ben laughs. "You sure you're not?"

They've had this conversation before, in varying degrees of sobriety. It always ends the same way, with her pushing him away when he starts to tickle her, teasing her that she's been carrying a torch for him for years.

She'll call him a perv and tell him to shut up, but they'll both be laughing.

Tonight though, she doesn't push him away. They're on his floor and he has her pinned beneath him and he's not sure which one of them moves first, but there's nothing tentative about this kiss even though it's their first.

When her tongue slips past his lips Ben forgets that Leslie's his best friend. That he's never thought about her that way.

The two week long crush he had on her in eighth grade doesn't count.

Or those times she comes to him when his hand is closed around his dick.

He forgets everything, his name, his phone number, how much money he has in his bank account, his parent's addresses, everything except that he wants her.

Sometimes, when people ask why they're not together, Leslie will say they missed their window. Most people assume she means it's because they've known each other for so long, but Ben knows what she really means is those three months during Freshman year when they were both single.

If it didn't happen then, it would never happen.

And it's not happening now, even though his lips are on her neck and her legs are hooked around his waist.

"We shouldn't do this," she says, and he stills, agreeing. They shouldn't do this.

He gets off her and helps her up from the floor. "Sorry."

"It's okay," she says, pushing her hair out of her eyes. "I should go though."

"Right," Ben replies, unsure of what to say or do next. "We still on for Natalie Merchant tomorrow, right?"

Leslie rolls her eyes. "Like I would miss that."

He grins and walks her to the door. "You sure you're not in love with me?"

She pats him on his cheek. "Are you?"

"Positive," Ben says. "Night, Lesliemin."

"Night, Benjamin."

He closes the door after her. He's not sure of anything now.

_She's lying in bed with my t-shirt on  
Just thinking how I went about it wrong_

Ben sits in the dark, smoking his last cigarette while Leslie mumbles in her sleep. He moves her hair from her face and she growls, moving away. His t- shirt rides up her body, revealing more thigh. He looks away though, continuing to smoke until his cigarette is down to the filter.

He puts it out and throws the butt into an old Pepsi can.

One word comes out so perfectly clear that it makes Ben stand to his feet and walk out of his apartment to go get a new pack of cigarettes, grabbing his hoodie and wallet before he leaves.

He can't stay and listen to her say she's going to leave him.

 ****_There's no way out and a long way down_  
_Everybody needs someone around_  
_But I can't hold you_  
_Too close now_

He's coming home, arms full of groceries when he sees her, sitting in front of his door hugging her knees to her chest.

He almost drops the sacks. "Leslie?"

She looks up and waves. "Hi," she says, standing. She looks older, her hair's longer, and her face has matured. She's absolutely breathtaking.

He exhales. "You want to come inside?"

"Thanks," she says, taking his keys out of his fingers. She opens his door and goes in before him.

He doesn't miss her gasp. "Wow."

Ben puts the groceries on the counter. "You like it?"

"Yeah, it's great," she says, walking around his living room. "What did you do with your old couch?"

"Gave it to Andy."

Leslie laughs. "Right. Well this is quite the grown up's apartment."

Ben shrugs and takes two beers out of his fridge, giving one to Leslie. "So, no one told me you were coming."

"I didn't tell anyone," she says, putting the bottle to her lips. "Not even Ann."

He doesn't mask his surprise. "Oh."

She sighs and puts her beer on the coffee table. "After we talked the other day, I couldn't stop thinking about it, or the way we left things when I left."

"So you decided to fly from LA back here to tell me that?"

Her eyes instantly meet his. "You knew?"

"Of course I knew," Ben says, wanting to break the eye contact only he can't. "You talk in your sleep."

"Oh."

"I thought about coming out to see you but I figured you hated me enough as it is, so…"

"Ben, I don't hate you. I could never. You're the most important person in my life. I just wanted more. For my life. You understand that, right?"

He turns away, unable to look at her any longer, or to admit that he does understand.

"That's not what you said."

"I didn't mean it like that," she says, her footsteps giving her presence behind him away. "It's just, what we became- it was too much for me- and I knew we couldn't go back to just being friends but I didn't want to just be your fuck buddy anymore. I'm not sure where that leaves us now, but there it is."

Somewhere during Leslie's speech Ben turns around again, so he can study her face. She's close now, and he can smell the hint of wine beneath Scope under her breath and the vanilla in her perfume.

No matter what he says, she will leave. She will go back to California and get her masters. But he can make sure she has a reason to return.

"I know where it leaves us."

"You do?"

Ben throws his bottle in the recycling and smiles, closing the distance. "Yeah. I do."

 ****_I know there’s nothing I can do to change it,_  
But is there something that can be negotiated  
My heart’s already breaking, baby, go on, twist the knife

He's smoking on his balcony when the glass door opens and she comes outside, dressed in the same red dress he took off that first night together. He flicks his ashes, watching as they float down to the sidewalk, ignoring her the best he can.

"Ben-"

He moves away from her touch, throwing what's left of his cigarette into the empty planter before going back into his apartment.

Ben-"

He stops and turns around, allowing all of his hurt and anger to show. She recoils, but instead of being satisfied, he just feels worse.

"Fine. You want to talk? Talk. Tell me why I heard about you leaving from Andy of all people-" It's easier to blame Andy than to tell her the truth. That he's known for weeks. That he's really angry because she thought she had to hide it from him.

"I told April in confidence."

"Well, there was your first mistake," Ben says. "You should have known she would tell Andy. And you know he can't keep a secret."

She growls under her breath. "Yeah."

"You still haven't answered my question."

"I…" She looks up at his ceiling, lower lip quivering. "I didn't think you would care."

"You didn't think I would care about you leaving?" Ben asks, giving punctuation to every word because he can't believe it. "I'm your best friend, why wouldn't I care-"

"Not anymore."

"What?"

"You're not my best friend anymore," she says, her voice soft and clear. It's the worst sound in the world.

And just like that, Ben's heart becomes glass and falls to the floor, shattering completely.

"Ben I'm sorr-"

He hears the regret but he's no longer in a state of mind for her apologies. "You're wearing the dress."

"Yes. I don't know why, I just put it on."

"No," he says, moving closer to her "You do. You know exactly why you chose this dress."

She gasps as he combs his fingers through her hair and pushes his lips against hers. It's a kiss that's more blood and teeth, making her push him back.

"Get out."

"Ben, please."

"Get out," he says. Before I say or do something we'll both regret, he pleads silently.

Her eyes well up with tears. "Okay," she says, so soft he barely hears it.

He hears the door shut though. That's all that matters.

 ****_I want to lend you my coat_  
_One that's as soft as your cheek_  
_So when the world is cold_  
_You'll have a hidin' place you can go_  
_I want to lend you my coat_

He's walking Maura out of his dorm when he sees Leslie, sitting on the steps to his dorm with her arms crossed over her chest, teeth chattering. He sighs for multiple reasons, mostly because her lips are starting to turn blue and she doesn't seem to notice he's there.

He turns back to Maura. "I'll call you later."

She nods, her eyes still narrowed at Leslie as if she's ruined her romantic goodbye, but she walks past Leslie, saying nothing.

Ben kicks off the light dusting of snow on the step and sits next to Leslie. "You know it's thirty degrees right?"

"I know."

He wipes a tear off her cheek. "Your tears are turning into icicles."

She smiles, weak as Ben takes of his coat and wraps it around her shoulders.

"You could have come in, you know."

"I didn't want to interrupt."

Ben rolls his eyes. "Lesliemin, you can interrupt any time. Especially in weather like this."

"Okay, Benjamin," she says, tugging his coat around her. "Are you going to call her?"

Ben shakes his head. "I didn't even get her number."

This time it's Leslie who rolls her eyes. "You're a pig. You're all pigs."

Ben exhales, knowing that Leslie's outrage has nothing to do with him. "What happened?"

"Mark cheated. He said I was getting too clingy and things were getting too serious for him."

The only thing that keeps Ben from getting up to go break Marks face is knowing Leslie needs him more.

Also, he's cold.

"Let's go inside. I'll make you some hot cocoa and we'll watch "A League of Their Own."

"Okay," she says, as he helps her up. She's close, her nose and cheeks pink and eyes too bright.

"Why are you all such jerks?"

"We're idiots." He has no doubt that's true.

_We could be the greatest team that the world has ever seen_

"Ben, right?"

The girl talking to him is short and blonde with a haircut that belongs on a old woman and not a fourteen year old girl. "Uh, yeah. You are?"

"Leslie. Leslie Knope. I just moved here from Pawnee, Indiana, the greatest town in all of America."

Okay. So she short, has a ridiculous haircut and is a complete and total weirdo. "Uh, cool- I need to get to class."

"I'll walk with you!"

"Don't you have a class of your own?" he asks, hoping that will get her away from him.

"You're going to science with Mr. Miller right? I'm in the same class too." She smiles and okay, ignoring the haircut she's actually pretty.

She's still fucking weird though.

"Oh. Great."

"Anyway," she tells him as they walk through the hallways of Partridge middle school, "I really liked that presentation on President Truman you gave yesterday-"

"You're in my history class too?"

"And as you know we have to do a project with a partner and not to brag but I'm awesome at History so I thought we could team up and do ours together."

Okay. She's a pretty weirdo with a bad haircut and oversized ego. "Um, I have a partner." He doesn't. But he can find one.

"Oh." He doesn't miss her disappointment. "Well, that's okay. I'll find someone else."

Seeing how Leslie's weird and new, the chances of anyone wanting to partner with her are slim. He's going to regret this, but he feels sorry for her. "Hold on. I can be your partner."

"You can?" Her smile grows, taking up her entire face. "Thank you!" she throws herself at him, hugging him too tightly until he asks her to let go

"It's uh, no problem."

It's no problem at all.

 ****_The night it's on your lips and I feel like I'm locked in_  
_There's a million eyes, I don't care if they're watching_  
_Your body is saying everything, I don't have to read your mind_  
_Feel you on my neck while I'm calling a taxi_  
_Climbing over me while I climb in the backseat_  
_Now we're taking off, now we're taking it off tonight_

"Dance with me," she says, words slightly slurred as she pulls him off his barstool. He leaves his beer, laughing as she takes him into the crowd. He grins as she wraps her arms around neck, body pressing against his.

"I've been thinking."

He's pretty sure he knows what she's thinking about. They haven't talked about their kiss since it happened, but Ben knows from every stray glance she's given his lips that he hasn't been the only one who's been thinking about it non stop.

He slides his hands down her sides. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," she whispers breath tickling his ear. "You're a really good kisser."

"So are you," Ben says, her hips swaying against his in a way that makes him want to take her into a bathroom and fuck the hell out of her.

It's not the first time he's thought about it, but it is the first time he's actually taken the thought to the next level by brushing his lips against hers.

She giggles. "Benjamin."

Her fingers comb through his hair though, fingernails scratching the nape of his neck, so he knows she isn't rejecting him.

"Lesliemin." His tongue slips past hers.

"It doesn't have to mean anything."

If Ben were sober, if he didn't feel like his skin was on fire, if Leslie wasn't so pretty, if she didn't have lips he wanted to kiss for days, he would think about how this could ruin their friendship, about how she's been his best friend for the better part of his life, how this could be the biggest mistake of his life, including Ice Town.

He takes her hand. "Let's go."

They hail a cab and he tells the driver to take them to his place. She climbs into his lap, and he's all too aware that she can feel his want for her when she rolls her hips.

He grips them, not to stops them completely but to slow her down, so he doesn't make a mess in the back of the cab.

_Yeah, you will find me  
In places that we've never been_

It's only been six months since Leslie left. Only six months since he packed up her car and hugged Ann and Andy and April goodbye. Six months since their eyes met and he told her, "Drive safe," because he couldn't say what he really wanted.

He wanted to be selfish, but he couldn't. Not when Leslie was finally starting to go after her dream.

He wasn't going to be that guy.

But now it's been six months and it still feels like yesterday.

He avoids the places they used to go. The roof, the bar, everywhere that reminds him of her.

And yet, she's still everywhere. She in every pair of blue eyes that meet his. She's in every strand of blond hair. She's in every request for whipped cream he overhears.

He starts taking home curly haired blondes in the hopes that fucking her away will help, but it doesn't.

Nothing does.

He drinks himself to sleep.

"I know you miss her," Andy says to him one night, "But Leslie wouldn't want this."

"Leslie doesn't care about what I want," Ben argues, but even he knows that's not true. "Whatever. She's gone, she refuses to even tell me where she went."

"She didn't tell April either," Andy says, and Ben stops pacing.

"I guess she learned her lesson."

His stomach twists from the combination of his lie and beer. "Fuck."

"Come on, dude. You're the smartest guy I know! Leslie's out there, catching her dreams. Don't you think it's time you caught yours too?"

Ben stares at his friend, allowing the words to soak in. Andy's right. Leslie's gone, doing something with her life. And what is he doing? Fucking random blondes and drinking his life away.

He looks around his apartment, at the empty bottles and cans and general disaster that is his life.

He looks at at Andy. Even Andy knows what he wants to do with his life. When did Ben become the lonesome loser of their group?

If there's any chance of winning Leslie back, he needs to become the man she deserves.

"You want a couch?"

_I keep on holding tight now  
Cause your body's telling me don't let go_

"I'm going to miss you all so much. California sucks without. I wish I could lift Pawnee up and take it and you all with me."

"We're going to miss you too, Dorothy."

"Eww," April says, rolling her eyes. "Like you two don't have enough disgusting nicknames for each other already."

"Better than them fighting," Ann points out, but he's too busy kissing Leslie goodbye for them to agree with her.

Holding her is much better than pushing her away.

She clings to him, her tears staining his t-shirt, but he doesn't care. He'll have to tell her goodbye eventually, but not yet.

Leslie's the one who breaks their contact, only to poke him in his chest. "I'm coming back for you Wyatt. You owe me a rematch."

"You're on, Knope."

_Remember how we used to kick around  
Just wasting time?_

Leslie arrives at 11:30, holding a six pack of beer and a movie from Blockbuster. She's wearing her work clothes, a dark blue blouse and black dress pants. Her black non skid shoes have a ketchup stain in them. "I got Batman and Robin like you wanted," she says, shoving it into his chest. He laughs, taking it over to the dvd player.

"It's fun to make fun of."

"You last five minutes before you're ranting about Joel Schumacher," Leslie says, rolling her eyes. "Hey there." Ben points to her. "You hate it just as much as I do."

"I do. So why do we watch it?"

Ben shrugs, not really knowing the answer. "We could go out."

Leslie collapses onto his couch, beer to her lips already. "No."

Ben takes a beer out of the pack and sits next to her, the movie starting automatically. Ben takes his remote and pauses it. "How was your day, honey?"

"I quit."

"Really?"

"No. But I came close. This guy sent his steak back four times saying we didn't know the difference between medium and medium rare and then he left without tipping. And this woman complained that her salad had too much dressing, oh and there was a party of thirteen, most of them children under the age of ten."

"You love children."

She takes another long sip of her beer. "Yeah, I know. I just want- I used to have all these dreams you know? And look at me. I smell like beer and greasy hamburgers."

Ben leans back on the couch, putting his feet on the coffee table. "You know what you need, Knope?"

"Please don't say Batnipples."

"Batnipples it is," Ben says, pushing play on the remote. The opening credit music drowning out Leslie's groan. He pushes stop. "Or, I can kick your ass again in Mario Kart."

She throws a pillow at him, hitting him in the chest. "You're on, Wyatt."


End file.
